November 25, 1984 and April 21, 1990 were days my life flashed before my eyes. Days I have often reflected on the last 29 years. This is a letter I wished I had written those years ago. I hope my sons will share this with their sons.
To see you enter the world fills my heart with joy, expectancy, and fear.
- Fear of not surviving the smell of your diapers.
- Fear of not living up to the expectations I’ve rehearsed.
- Fear of not being the best Dad in the world.
But this I know, my sons – you are going to change the world.
You will face tremendous problems yet find epic solutions.
You will stare sin in the face and say, “Christ is better.”
You will live your life to serve others and make the name of Jesus famous.
But it isn’t just what you’ll do that makes your life count. It’s your very existence that speaks of the majesty of God.
You are unique, marked, and set apart. Your tiny breaths declare God’s greatness. Your high pitched cries shout loud His sovereignty. Your precious frames pronounce the vast creativity of our God.
Joshua & Austin, I just want to say, I love you with my whole heart. You have a father who is flawed, yet filled with love for you. Though I won’t always respond perfectly, I will always be there for you.
I will listen when you want to vent.
I will watch when you need to show off.
I will be there no matter what the circumstance.
I will brag about you for the rest of my life.
And may you see in my few strengths and endless weaknesses a man who hopefully does not trust in himself, but a man who depends on Jesus with every breath.
Not a man who just talks about Jesus, but actually lives the life with a ferocious passion.
So here’s to many laughs, jokes, and good times together. Here’s to many tears, hugs, and Scriptures shared through struggle. Here’s to not just enjoying you for the wise decisions you make. Here’s to you for who you are.
You are loved just as you are. You have nothing to prove.
I love you, boys.